Emily Borthwick: "I've defeated all my demons"

07/06/2024 05:16 AM

After the tragedy of losing her brother, Tokyo Olympic high jumper talks about the challenges she has had to face on the road back to competitive action

High jumpers train tirelessly to defy gravity but, for Emily Borthwick, the challenges she has faced in the past few years extend far beyond simply clearing the bar.

The 26-year-old made it to the world stage, reaching her first Olympics in Tokyo and then competing at the 2022 World Championships and Commonwealth Games. Behind those performances, however, lay a story of profound struggle – one that began with the loss of her younger brother, Connor, in an industrial accident in 2021.

"I remember when it happened," she tells AW. "I got a phone call and I thought it was a joke to begin with because you go into instant shock and you just don't believe it. I think you can accept that your parents aren't going to be around your whole life. But to accept that your sibling isn't going to be around … now that's hard."

Borthwick's path to high jumping wasn't traditional, with her athletic roots in multi-events and the 400m at Wigan Harriers. "I don't fit the typical high jumper stereotype," she jokes. "I'm more of a power-speed jumper, not the 6ft 2in and very slim type of jumper."

Yet it was Connor, a promising junior, who ignited a passion for high jumping that resulted in Emily's emergence as one of Britain's leading athletes in the discipline three years ago. Her clearance of 1.93m earned her a late call-up for Tokyo, where she finished 16th overall.

Just as she had begun to get used to scaling those new heights, only a few months later came that crushing blow with Connor's passing. Dealing with grief was the skill that Borthwick was now faced with acquiring. "It was a fight," she says.

As she battled on, so came her best indoor season yet in 2022 as she cleared 1.95m, a height that remains her PB. That paved for the way for that first World Championships appearance, albeit the cracks began to appear as she failed to make it through qualifying in Oregon, while she finished 11th in front of the Commonwealth crowd in Birmingham.

"And then it caught up with me," admits Borthwick. "I sat back and thought: 'Do I just quit?' Once you are out there you can't hide anything because you are so vulnerable in those competition environments. And I put myself out there, and I was vulnerable and I suffered for it.

"A lot of people, especially in athletics, don’t understand that we are people at the end of the day. They forget that life happens and it can be awful. I was in that percentage of people that had an awful experience and I tried to navigate a professional career out of that, and I needed time."

Focusing on her mental wellbeing, Borthwick chose to make a big change to her life as she relocated to Australia for a fresh start.

"It took me moving to a different coach and country to realise that I just needed to get out of the hole that I was in," says the 2022 national silver medallist. "I wasn't moving for athletics, I was moving for me as a human.

"It was the best thing that I ever did and I've never been happier, it's the thing that's kept me in high jump."

The relocation came with sacrifice, including missing out on the World Championships in Budapest, but it also brought her newfound joy, including meeting her now-fiancé.

After prioritising self-care, Borthwick was gearing up for a successful high jump season last year but her journey was still riddled with challenges, from battling numerous injuries to being diagnosed with chronic asthma.

She made two competitive appearances last year before injuring her ankle, putting her out for the rest of the season. "It took a lot to come back to competing, and then it got cut short very quickly," she says. "The last 18 months have been either figuring out life or being injured."

One person who has helped her along the way is her father, Darren – an athletics coach in Wigan.

"I'm lucky with the relationship I've got with my dad," she says. "He can switch off dad mode and assist me and help me understand my own thoughts.

"High jump is such a psychological event and a lot of the time you second guess yourself so when you've got someone to react with then it is really helpful."

Her father's coaching ties extend to Trevor Painter and Jenny Meadows, renowned for mentoring
top-tier athletes like Keely Hodgkinson and Georgia Bell. While high jump and running have their clear differences, Emily also finds social support in this group.

"I think that's something that is really important because they have such a positive ethos and aura about the group and everyone is excelling in their individual events," she says. "With my dad being a part of that I can bounce off that energy."

Borthwick has returned to the UK over the summer months to complete her master's degree at Loughborough University while also diving back into competing. 

"My plan for indoors this year was to have jumped the [European] standard to take the pressure off and get some points for an Olympic standard but that didn't happen due to injury," she adds. "A full reset was required and I have done that. I've defeated all my demons and all the self-doubt is gone.”

As Borthwick takes those forward strides, the memory of Connor will always be close. His loss is still felt deeply but his sister finds courage in the lessons he taught her.

"Of course losing him is going to be the most horrific thing that's ever going to happen to me," she says. "But it's also given me a new outlook on how I want to be as a person and how to live my life.

"He was one of those people who didn't care what anyone thought, he just did what he wanted to do and didn't stop until it was done. That's the key thing that I've taken with me."

» This issue first appeared in the June issue of AW magazine – subscribe here

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